Suggestions, Anyone?

It has been so long since I posted… Here is something of an explanation, or perhaps excuse, as to why. http://lymeisafourletterword.com/2013/05/06/itsalwaysthedarkestbeforethesunrises/ another link here to the co-infections, three of which I’m fighting now, with at least one other chronic infection undiagnosed but symptoms like a mycoplasma. http://lymedisease.org/lyme101/coinfections/tick_chart1.html With both parents exposed to agent orange in Vietnam, and my late father coming back from his second war with Gulf War Syndrome… it’s a wonder I’m not more ill than I am, I guess.

934108_456917237728109_346240992_nI have imposed an unspoken restriction on this blog, by trying to keep it about dogs and not myself. This is a blog about my physical health, if you’d like to go there. http://beatinglyme.wordpress.com/

As for this blog, I don’t have a dog now, and my physical/emotional issues have overwhelmed me. So I haven’t felt like there was much for me to post about, ya know?

But there has been a silent prodding to find my voice again. The sentiment this picture relates affects me deeply, too deeply to ignore. Just the idea of another creature seeing me with absolute love…

I miss having a dog. But the idea of a puppy is more than a little intimidating! Still, I miss a big love crashed on the bed with me, or out in the garden guarding it from butterflies and squirrels!

Since my voice has dried up a bit, YOU tell me what you’d like me to write about. Sometimes it just takes a place to get started. If you’ve hung on all this time with me, (I hope most have), then you are a trusted friend imo. Suggest a place for me to re-start, if you would, and I’ll happily run with it…

Good Choices, Good Nutrition…by Lisa Harmon

It’s been a little while since I’ve put up a post here, and I hope your holidays were enjoyable. We got catching up to do!

I’ve been knitting and crocheting alot, and the more sedentary I’ve become the more my fatigue and fibro has bothered me. I have to be careful not to get too much physical activity, but it seems I’ve not been getting quite enough activity, either. That, combined thwith what I believe will be a year of higher costs of living vs a fixed income… I’m motiviated once again to re-start building my veggie garden.

I’ve got my landscape fabric, and I’m buying 1/2″ chat to create the walkways with. It’s cheaper than mulch and I don’t have to add more every year or two. If I can get the fabric down this month, I’m hoping by March the existing grass will have died down under it, and I can use my small Mantis tiller to work in some compost and stuff.

My body can stand up to moving one or two loads (half a ton each) of chat one day, and resting the next okay. Of course, the pain levels go up, so I’ve gone to the maximum 3 a day of the generic gabapentin (Lyrica type med), and that makes it managable. At least for awhile.

I’m hoping to reduce my grocery bills, yes, but I don’t use a bunch of chemicals and sprays if I can help it. And I use organic fertilizers and such. So my own veggies are healthier and more nutritious than what I can get at the store without going broke buying organic.

Got my fingers crossed that I can get a decent sized garden going this spring. Getting the right amount of exercise when you have FMS/CFS is a bit of an art! Each person is different, and needs to listen closely to their body’s signals.

I know this is a “dog blog”, so here’s my transition from personal to dog: getting the right amount of exercise and good nutrition for your dog is just as important, and just as much of an art! Poor nutrition and either not enough or too much exercise can be a cause of health problems like obesity and allergies. It can also be the culprit in behavioral problems such as destructive chewing or hyperactivity.

Dogs can’t talk verbally, but they do communicate! Learning how to read your dog’s behavior and physical reactions may not always be easy, but boy can it help treat and prevent problems. For instance, I personally don’t allow my dogs to run wild in the house, such as having zoomies or leaping on and off the furniture. If I got a puppy doing that, it’s time for a good run OUTSIDE.

1337040162_dd8378c302_oI know some folks who think that’s okay, or just normal puppy crazies, but a giant dog on a rampage can do serious damage to flooring and furniture, and you too. Not okay with me! Out we go, right now.

My philosophy is there is a place for hard exercise, and a place to play more gently. Dogs can quickly learn what we do here but not there, so if you start them as puppies running and zooming in the yard, but chewing bones and playing less exhuberantly with squeekies inside, they will usually continue that throughout their lives.

If a dog feels free to run on a rampage indoors, it can not only damage your home and belongings when they weigh 150+ pounds, it can damage you. I don’t like it, and I think it’s just not a good idea to allow. Especially if there are children in the house.

But they do need a place to really stretch their legs, and a good sized patch-o-grass is ideal. Lots of studies prove that exercise releases hormones and neurotransmitters that create a sense of contentment and happiness in dogs and humans both. It also can prevent health problems, like getting fat and its complications, constipation, even depression. So go play!

Dehydrated Carrots - Dog 11 lbsAs for nutrition, I’ve got a product I think would be good for raw feeding owners especially to consider adding to their dog’s diet. It’s a natural, and can help with diarrhea and many digestive issues in both raw or kibble fed dogs.  https://www.olewousa.com/categories.aspx?categoryID=100

Olewo has two formulas I’m particularly interested in; the carrots and the beets. The carrots are supposedly very good at helping diarrhea and poor appetite, which most puppies will have at some point for various reasons. The beets are reported to help control allergies and inflammation, too.

When I feed raw, I like to add veggies for bulk and fiber. Not everyone agrees with that, prefering only meat and bone. But I am a bit of a ninny about controlling the amount of calicum and other minerals in a giant breed dog’s food. Bones and meat are loaded with minerals. So I prefer to reduce the bone and meat amounts and add veggies.

Being a gardener, I would have my own carrot and beet patch, but in the winter, I’d need to supplement my frozen stash with a purchased product. I like how rigorously Olewo is tested, and that it is a fully natural product.

A puppy in my home is still the goal, but I’ve got two issues that have to be sorted before I’ll buy a new baby boy. One is my own health and finances: I need to reduce some bills (food!) so I can more comfortably afford any food my puppy may need, even if it’s expensive. The other is Mom; she must be independantly functioning, not depleting my physical energy and emotions all the time.

th (1)I’m taking positive action towards those goals: the garden, and the fact that I flatly refuse to “do for” anymore. My New Year’s resolution is to extract myself from Mom, regardless of the fuss. It’s going to be a rough transition, since she’s shifted total responsibility for herself onto me for years now.

I know it sounds mean, but there is no reason she cannot be independant other that not wanting to. She stays up watching TV until 2am or 3am, then expects me to spend hours trying to get her out of bed at 7am.

It’s not happening, it frustrates the hell out of me every single day, and it’s a totally unneccessary intrusion on my own schedule. She can make appointments in the afternoon, and get up late on her own. There are a thousand excuses why she doesn’t want to, but too bad.

She is responsible also for what and when and if she eats. I’m not a short order cook, and if she chooses to snack n graze rather than making an actual meal for herself, that’s her choice. I don’t want to hear about her upset tummy from not eating or being tired if she can’t be bothered with her own physical needs. Not my choice, not my consequences.

There’s other things too, but I’m not here to whine, not anymore. My life is my own, and I am sovereign: I’ll decide what I do and don’t do. That isn’t going to be decided anymore by what she wants, feels, or finds convenient at my expense. Baby steps don’t work with her, and I’ve tried for years to take it one problem at a time with her. But it’s like wrestling with an octopus: pry one arm off there are new ones to take its place. So it’s cold-turkey time.

Until she can function on her own, and make choices based on what’s healthy for her rather than a whim or lazy impulse, I won’t get a puppy. She’d just use him too, enjoying him when she wants then neglecting his care as she had with BB and Taj and all the others. Truth is I  don’t want to live with her like this, so I won’t subject a puppy to a house full of chronic complaining and poor me.

I’ve become something of a frustrated, anxiety ridden nag the past year or so, because I’ve allowed her to use my love and concern for her well being as leverage to continue destructive habits. New year, better life, even if it’s only better by my reckoning.

Giants and Bone Cancer

This post is to offer some information has concerning giant breeds and a particularly lethal type of cancer; osteosarcoma, or bone cancer. This was brought to my attention by a reader, and I’m very grateful for the heads up. There is a terrifying 80% fatality rate with this type of cancer.

xrayIt presents most typically as lameness in middle aged or elder giant breed dogs, though it can appear first in the jawbones or other places. Being a highly aggressive form of cancer, over 90% of dogs diagnosed already have had the cancer spread when it is discovered. Often, a biopsy is required to rule out other diseases and be certain that the changes seen on x-ray are indeed osteosarcoma.

The causes aren’t nailed down by science, but there are known risk factors, from genetics to diet. Osteosarcoma tends to run in families, so careful selection of the breeder’s bloodlines when you buy your puppy is very important.

Close relatives, such as a sire or dam, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, that have developed cancer increases the risk of your pup developing it too. This has been linked to a specific gene: http://landofpuregold.com/cancer/the-pdfs/osteosarcoma-advances.pdf

There is research suggesting flouride in the drinking water is also a potential cause of osteosarcoma, in dogs and humans. Another risk factor is a popular insect growth regulator used orally for flea control in dogs and cats, diflubenzuron.  There is an increased incidence of both hemangiosarcoma and osteosarcoma in animal studies.

One of the biggest suspected factors in the later development of bone cancer is the speed of growth as an immature puppy, as most bone cancers originate near growth plates in long bones. This makes a diet of controlled calories, minerals, and protien (see feeding and growth page, or foods I recommend pages) even more vital than simply avoiding HOD or PANO in a puppy. The puppy’s diet has life long impact.

The growth rate risks also makes pediatric spaying and neutering of giant breeds an even worse idea than free feeding any old food. Many vets who should well know better, recommend desexing from 6-9 months old, some as young as 6-8 weeks old. Humane organizations as well push heavily for desexing, to reduce overpopulation. The problem isn’t the dogs, it’s the irresponsible owners.

A more detailed explaination of pros and cons of desexing: http://www2.dcn.org/orgs/ddtc/sfiles/LongTermHealthEffectsOfSpayNeuterInDogs.pdf

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I hope you will resist the pressure to spay and neuter before maturity, and be prepared to argue a bit with most breeders and rescues, who are understandably concerned that a buyer will turn around and breed their puppy without permission.

But the risks of early spaying and neutering are substantial, and not just for bone cancer. It has long been known that desexing before maturity, especially before 1 year old, drastically increases the growth of giant breeds. The growth plates of desexed giant breed puppies do not close and cease growing at the appropriate time.

Personally I think this dog above, the world record holder of the tallest dog, has other metabolic issues as well that haven’t become known. But it is definitely known that pediatric spaying and neutering lengthens the bones, because the growth plates do not close at the right time. This essentially creates a tall, skinny, thin boned dog that just grows and grows and never fills out as they should.

PirStud1a

Here is a picture of an intact dog, whose sex hormones allowed them to grow normally, a dog owned by an excellent breeder, JP Yousha. You can see the obvious differences, from a good muscle content, to a straight back, and well proportioned legs.

The additional growth time caused by desexing before maturity has shown to increase the risk of bone cancer dramatically, from 50% to 65% or more depending on the breed. It is particularly high in giant breeds (100+ pounds).

For more information:

http://caninecancer.com/Osteosarcoma.html

http://cebp.aacrjournals.org/content/11/11/1434.full

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Lasting Change…by Lisa Harmon

living roomThis was my Christmas… how was yours? Merry and bright I hope!

I guess New Year’s is the next half of the holidays, and many of us are settling on a resolution or two for how we will improve our lives this coming year. It’s a good idea, too.

No matter how old (or young) we are, there is always room for improvement. I’d like to offer a few suggestions though, to counter the high abandonment rate that usually accompanies a New Year’s Resolution.

Be Real

A goal is a great thing, unless it’s unattainable. If you think you’re going to unilaterally alter a long standing family dynamic, or get a rambunctious dog to change how they interact with you just from force of will, you’ve set yourself up to fail. The only person you can really change is yourself, and that is hard enough!

If your goal for change requires change from another person, be prepared to accept that you’ve held up your end of the bargain even if they couldn’t or quit trying. I’m not trying to be a downer, it’s just that we all know how hard it is to break a habit. We have to have an understanding (and back up plan) for disappointing results. A lot of dreams and hopes in life are only half fulfilled, and it’s a reality everyone faces.

Be Thoughtful

It’d be nice if we could simply say, “I’m going to be a better friend” and the magic fairy dust makes it happen. But we really need to have spent some time thinking about what a better friend is. Does it mean your night owl partner really needs you to stay up with them until midnight every night, or would say, 10 pm be gesture enough? Would getting the aforementioned rambunctious dog more exercise mean giving up drinks after work with your friends a couple nights a week?

Think through a New Year’s resolution before you set it, knowing what demands on your time or your habits would be altered. Many  resolutions get dropped because we weren’t prepared for the effort or time that it takes to make a long lasting change. If you know ahead of time, and have set your mind to “do what it takes”, the odds of being successful go up.

Break It Into Parts

Some resolutions, especially the ones you need to make happen for your health and well being, will be too big to take on all at once. If your goal is say, to lose 50 pounds, there are many moving parts that can break down. It would require a change in eating habits, in exercise habits, in awareness of how much change you can adapt to and at what pace.

Trying to take on many changes all at once if about half doomed before you start. Dog trainers call this “lumping”; ie expecting a perfect five minute down stay from Pooch, regardless of distraction. Take an idea from successful clicker trainers, and break a goal down so you can work on the individual parts one at a time before putting the peices together.

For instance, decide that in January you will adjust to eating different foods. In February, if all went well with January’s changes, you will begin to reduce your portion sizes. If you are still struggling a bit with the different foods, you’ll wait to change the portions a little longer. When you’ve adjusted to different foods and different portions, you will begin a mild exercise program.

If the goal is for your rambunctious pup to get his Canine Good Citizen patch, there might be several habits you want to break. Take them one at a time, methodically, and consistently. Some parts of a plan may take longer than you might have expected, some might go faster. But with the end goal in mind, keep working, and occasionally look back to see how far you’ve come!

Preparing a Puppy for the World of Humans

Having a well adjusted dog starts with a puppy coming to enjoy a variety of new things. It’s official term is “socialization”. Laurie Luck over at Smart Dog University is a fabulous trainer, and I love to read her blog. This is a bit of a flashback in time, back when she was raising Talos the Dane puppy to become a grown up Great Dane Service dog. But these truths are timeless:

The key to introducing your dog to something novel is to do it incrementally, to do it systematically, and to always (and I mean always!) go at your dog’s pace. If you see signs of anxiety (tucked tail, ears back, lip licking, hiding behind your legs), STOP! Move further away, speak calmly and quietly to your dog, and try to feed some extra yummy treats. If your dog isn’t eating those delicious treats, you know he’s still too stressed. Move even farther away. Keep moving away until the dog’s body language is more relaxed and until he’s able to take treats. http://smartdog.typepad.com/smart_dog/2009/12/fear-not-video.html#

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Each dog or puppy will have their own set of triggers. For my late Kenai, it was the post office. He could hear those mechanical noises he feared so much, but couldn’t see what was causing them. For some dogs, it is people rushing up to them head-on.

There is no such thing as a “perfect” service dog, to be honest. They are living creatures, and have their own quirks like any other. But assistance dogs really have to be as close to perfect in their behavior as possible.

Why?

They live and work in an unnatural world. A human world is chock full of unnatural things, like mechanical sounds, chemical smells, and people acting in ways that don’t make sense to a dog. After all, dogs didn’t invent cars!

All dogs have to become fluent in the ways of the human world and human quirks to be a part of it, through exposure and socialization. Just going to the pet store is an excursion into an unnatural world. But service dogs have to become at home in it.

Otherwise, they will often find it a struggle to focus and complete the tasks that make them a service dog for a disabled handler. So how you expose a service dog candidate or service dog in training to some new experience really does matter in the long term.  Bad experiences last, so if you’re having a bad hair day yourself, let the outing wait.

It is really helpful to have made a written list of every type of surface, sound, smell, and sight that you can think of. Just take stairs: there are wide stairs, narrow stairs, spiral stairs, tall stairs, concrete stairs, metal stairs, wood stairs… A dog’s senses of their environment are much more acute than ours, so they will notice the feel underfoot and height, the trace smells of shoes and the like.

Those things are background to us, and service dogs have to be regularly exposed to almost everything for it to fade into the background the way it does for us. Essentially, they have to be desensitized. These experiences have to continue long after puppyhood for them to remain familiar and comfortable, too. But the first exposures are the most important.

A Happy Outcome… by Lisa Harmon

levi December 2012

Remember a little blue boy named Levi?

THIS IS HIM!! See the “hook” on his white spot? I’d know him anywhere… doesn’t he look wonderful?!

Every day since he left my home, I have thought about him and prayed that he was doing well. I’d not heard from his new owner for many months, and she wasn’t active on Facebook where I spend most of my internet time.

That saying about “no news is good news”? Wasn’t really working for me. I worried. I really started to worry, being the worry wart I am, especially at night when I was alone with my thoughts.

I was sure in my head his new owner was a great lady and would take good care of him. But my heart longed for some news. Who doesn’t know that feeling?

I didn’t message his new owner more than a couple times, since I didn’t want to be a pest about him; he wasn’t mine any more. And she actually has a life, whereas I don’t…

I would start to worry, to feel sad, and would have to stop myself–a prayer, a hope, and leave him to the Lord’s tenderness. Yes, I am a person of faith, and what I cannot control I am learning (in fits and starts) to leave to the One who can. Though Levi was not where I could see him and love him, he was where others could, and God always can.

Truthfully, I was becoming resigned to always wonder what came of him. But this pic popped up on my FB newsfeed right before I was going to get offline. A chance encounter of sorts. There he was, that hooked white spot popping out at me. I stopped the scroll right away.

This picture made my Christmas bright, to say the least! Thank you, Tai, for such a wonderful Christmas gift…

Bring the Volume Down…by Lisa Harmon

I found a really good blog post that most all of us would find familiar. Chaos at Christmas, or Hanukaah, or New Year’s, or (-). What most people without disabilities don’t really grasp is “if I get exhausted by the extra work, what’s it like for someone with pre-existing aa_0315fatigue”? National MS Society Blog: Trying to Make the Holidays Less Overwhelming.

There are many conditions and illnesses, even medicines, that can create fatigue from the simplest activity. Anything from uncontrolled blood pressure to outright Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can make just getting through an ordinary day an act of will.

Now spike that activity level, pile on some emotional stress, maybe a touch of insomnia, and boom–you got a fatigue related crisis.

It all comes to a head around the various holidays–July 4th, Thanksgiving, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Easter… At least most holidays and gatherings are short term events. But the Christmas season starts around Thanksgiving and goes on for some 6 weeks.

There have been holidays where I did all the baking and cooking and wrapping, and was so wiped out I went to bed without making it to the gathering. Someone else had to take the food and gifts, because I didn’t have enough go-go juice to shower and dress, let alone handle hours of “fun”.

Confession time: After a lifetime of living in a really dysfunctional immediate family, I find I actually avoid even the wonderful relatives, especially the kids. Isn’t that awful?

They want to play, they make lots of noise and commotion, and get sad when I say I need to go. They don’t understand, and I can’t reasonably expect them too. How else are they to feel? Worse, often Mom won’t drive herself so I am trapped there until she wants to leave and it’s well past when I need to leave, sometimes by hours. That alone sends my anxiety levels soaring well before the day comes.

It’s not the kid’s fault. They’re just normal kids with an abnormal aunt.

But I feel like a jerk when I have to bail. If I can’t leave, what’s meant to be fun becomes hell on earth. I know it hurts their feelings, probably makes them think I don’t care about them. But for days afterwards the fibro pain is unbearable, my ears ring and roar, the fatigue keeps me in bed, my balance is shot, migraines make me miserable… just taking a shower isn’t worth it. That’s how bad it gets. And stays bad. A long time.

love-unloved1

The avoidance is mine. I need to understand it, own it, and deal with it. I’ve been conditioned to avoid being with people  if they have any right to have expectations of me. Not because of that particular person, like my oldest brother or my neices, but because of others that have deliberately put themselves at the top of the priorities, and shoved me off the list altogether.

It began with an abusive father, then a passive and destructive alcoholic brother, then an even more passive and emotionally helpless co-dependent mother. They all had one habit in common: their wants, moods, and demands came at the expense of Lisa. They came first, regardless of the harm they did to me. It was like second nature to them. Being disabled, there was no financial way for me to escape.

My father and alcoholic brother have passed away. But I still can’t get away from my mother because of financial limits, and the fact that I do love her and want to help her become healthy, and independent. For some reason I could readily part with the other two, but not so readily with Mom. Hum.

Boiled down, I’ve spent my life trapped and unimportant to the people I should have mattered most to. 40+ years of disregard makes you want to avoid anyone with wants and demands. And my avoiding the good folks introduces hurt from my actions into their lives, which makes me feel worse.

Now I’m not whining, and that’s hard to convey in the written word. I’m sorting. I’m figuring out where my avoidance of lovely family members comes from so I can deal with it and get past it. It is mine to deal with. It is up to me to develop strategies and implement them. Like the author of the blog link, I recognize where the responsibility for changing my feelings and behavior lies–with me.

Christmas Dinner

So…rather than avoid people, what I really want to avoid is being trapped and disregarded.

  1. do not go in the same car with Mom–if I have a car, I can leave when I need to, and she can stay as long as she wants. That way I have say in how long I visit, instead of someone else saying how long I visit. I know my body’s warning signs, and I know my need to leave will not be respected. 
  2. go there if the get together will be more than an hour or so–rather than having people come to my house. The only reason it feels like an invasion is the natural tendency for visits to inevitably last too long. Especially if I don’t see them often. And there’s nowhere to go if I need to, not without being followed or forced into doing something that makes me feel like a jerk (going to my room or asking them to leave).
  3. go more often when possible–frequent, short visits are much easier on me than long ones. Perhaps visit with nearby family every other week, for say, a trip to Burger King with my neice. Lower doses are more do-able, with less physical consequences. If I visit with them regularly, they don’t feel as neglected, nor worry they won’t see me again soon, and try to drag things out or manipulate somewhat to keep me from leaving.

Number three on that list has the ring of a New Year’s resolution to it, for certain. But that’s what personal change and loving family requires–commitment. Sometimes with a bit of wise tweaking in how we go about it.

Finding Christmas In Christmas

Christmas and Hanukkah are coming up on us fast. I managed to get the tree up, despite the fibro and fatigue, though you can see it’s not decorated (yet). I also got the big nativity out of the closet, and by big, I mean BIG. Lots more to do.

There’s a neverending stream of to-do with Christmas: parties, fighting the crowds, wound up kids with wish lists, you name it. I’d like to point out what often gets lost–that YOU name it. You have choices about how busy you are, about how much you spend, how crazy your holiday time is.

Do you “lose” Christmas during the Christmas season? Does Hanukkah cease to be about light, miracles, and the love of God somewhere along the way?

Or does the reality of money (the lack of it actually) get all up in your giving spirit? Gifts people you love want and you just cannot afford can make you feel like a heel. The idea that the amount you spend equals how much you love is everywhere around us, both subtly and not so subtly.

I live on SSDI, so money is always tight. It is for many people, for many reasons. I think about just my immediate family and wonder how on earth I can afford even $30 a person. SSDI limits the amount you are allowed to save. They cut your benefits if your total assets, from the car to the savings account, total more than $2k.

How to get around that…? I began a few years ago making fudge, and cookies, and mailing them for gifts. The shipping is deadly but I’d have to ship anything I gifted anyway. I started out sending dozens and dozens of treats, spending days baking at a time. The fatigue has intruded on that quantity, more than once.

But I’ve found that I can still make killer fudge easy enough, and I’ve started making cookies they won’t get from anyone else to try and make up for it. Orange cranberry cookies, or apple butter cookies, for example.  How many lemon blueberry cookies have you seen amidst the typical cookie buffet at Christmas parties?

If you’re disabled, the reality of what you can and what you can’t do can make you believe you’re the party pooper. Do you find there are many activities you should say no to but feel bad if you do? Are there things you could do but no one in your family is willing to accomodate?

Solving the “how do I manage” or “what to I give” comes down to what we believe is important about the holiday we celebrate. I for one would rather have a genuine and joyful season than a “perfect” Christmas that looks like a magazine spread. I don’t need a bunch of “stuff” under the tree to be happy. I have most of what I need in terms of “stuff”. One or two gifts that are useful, or say a special yummy I won’t usually indulge in is enough for me. I know, I’m weird!

For whatever reason, does a season of peace and joy turn into strife and frazzle on you? You wouldn’t be alone if it does, that’s for sure! Unfortunately, the way we’ve come to define a “perfect Christmas” means we’re so hassled and broke there’s not much enjoyable about it anymore. I heard on a TV show that 47% of people would rather skip the holidays altogether. How sad!

What would we lose if there was no Christmas?

Maybe we should just lose the crazy in Christmas, and replace it with what we really need: joy, love, peace, and kindness. And you DO have that ability, regardless of the best sabotage efforts of the usual Grinch suspects. For many it’s their family members who are the Grinches, and we can’t change other people. Some of the un-fun is unavoidable.

What is really important? Think about which of your personal traditions will no one forget if you kept, and what would no one remember if you skipped.

Surely you know someone, even just one person, who would think a cup of hot cocoa while watching the kids play in the snow is what makes a holiday. Maybe you’d like to decorate the tree as a family, talking about why this ornament goes up or who we remember with that ornament, and that would be spot on for you.

Nearly all of us kinda “know” what we need. If we’re hassled, a peaceful time helps us catch our breath. If our family’s bickering is getting on our nerves, we’d like to have a time where everyone just gets along and says how much they love each other. If we cannot afford a gift for someone, or they cannot afford one for us, time together is more valuable anyway!

Whatever it is you need or want, say it, and ask for it. It is their gift to you, and yours to them. Chose to do what matters, that will be remembered many a Christmas from now.

“Mom, this year, instead of buying you a gift, I want to take a day and just spend it with you. Remember how we used to (–)? Let’s do that again.”

“Honey, I know my body cannot stand up to a cross country flight this year. Can we make your Grandfather a video of all the memories we have of him, and all the reasons we love him? Then we can use the internet to visit, and still be able to have him be a part of our holiday?”

I know it can be hard, but try to put the miracle back in Hanukkah, and the peace back in Christmas this year! You can do it, at least a little bit, in little moments. And if you get to feeling down about what you can or can’t do, here’s a video that is really inspiring: TheBlaze.com: Video: Glenn Beck Program : Nick Vujicic – Video.

Christmas and Dogs

I love the Christmas season, like many people. There’s friends and parties, foods and warming scents, candles and trees, snow and hot chocolate for some. But the hustle and bustle can be hard on our dogs, especially the sensitive or shy ones.

Your time spent socializing the dog during the year gets put to the test, for sure. If you know your pup has some issues, then you can expect the stress to make this time of year extra tough for them.

There’s usually three things going on around Christmas in a dog’s perspective: a higher excitement levels, higher amounts of unusual human activities, and often, lower amounts of exercise as our time is crunched by a big to-do list.

We humans may know why we have that sense of anticipation, but our dogs don’t realize Christmas is in a few weeks. They just know we are excited, maybe we are anxious, and anticipating something. They get excited too, they just don’t know why. And their ability to contain emotional intensity is lower than ours. In short, they’re looking for what it is we seem to be anticipating for weeks on end.

Most of us don’t usually have family and friends showing up so very often as during the holidays. More people, more goings on, the routine is altered. There’s all these sparkly decorations around, and rich, enticing foods being cooked. Noises and scents, visual simulus spike during the holidays. Then there’s the social interactions with people, some of it wanted and perhaps some of it not.

Alot of us get really busy, really frazzled, really tired, too. The holiday stuff is added on top of already busy schedules. Add to that winter’s worsening weather, and it becomes harder to take the walk or go out to play with the dog when all you want is to curl up for a nap.

What you’ve got is a recipe for a seriously over-stimulated and underexercised pup! That means a normally calm dog might forget their manners and jump up to greet someone. Or a shy dog gets anxious and spooked by kids running about the house. Or an excitable dog becomes hard to control and destructive.

The single most important thing to tone down the stress on your dog is exercise: they’ve got to have somewhere to burn off the building excitement. Before you scold the dog for misbehaving, consider if he or she is just too wound up to control themselves anymore. Give them a chance to run and play, to have some fun with you, perhaps even more than usual so they can cope with all the goings on.

Exercise releases a whole bunch of beneficial chemicals in our brains and theirs too. It’s also good for you to put down the must-do list, and enjoy yourself for awhile.

Andy’s Babysitter…by Lisa Harmon

It never fails to amaze me how naturally grateful many dogs are! I “doggy sat” a neighbor’s GSD mix, and decided to try and use up the remaining Bravo raw in my freezer. Boy did he chow down, too. He ate almost as much as Kenai used to, roughly 3 pounds per day. And despite missing his “family”, he happily ran around the back yard playing with me which he’s never really done before.

Andy also has (had) a habit of jumping up on people. A clicker and 10 minutes pretty much took care of that, with me anyway. He got clicked and rewarded every time he sat beside, in front, or just near me. If he was about to “forget” and I’d see him ready to jump up, a simple “ah ah” and I’d get a nice pretty sit. Followed of course, by a click and a treat.

For all our fun though, you could tell he missed his own people. He’d sometimes just stand and look down the road for awhile. Then he’d come get the jolly ball and run about with it. Andy’s a mostly outside dog, but the temps were cold a couple nights so I would bring him in from the garage for a warm up hour or two. He would get a comfie, have a snooze, then when he woke up he’d want out again for awhile.

He’s a good fella, that Andy. We had a pretty good time together, but he was off like a shot when he saw “Mom and Dad” pull into their driveway! What did surprise me, was he came back down to my house about 2 hours later, just for a hug and pat. Then he went home again. Maybe it’s between my ears, but I think he wanted to say thank you for the company.

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