Working out the Kinks…by Lisa Harmon August 6, 2008

If ya work hard, play hard! Kenai gets a little upside down time, 31 wks old

Kenai went to vote Tuesday, and for some reason they wouldn’t let him have his own ballot. He doesn’t have thumbs, not even dewclaws, but I’d fill in whatever circle he picked. I told them if they had a touch screen, he could vote all by himself. They laughed at us! If he can get offers for car insurance and hair restoration clubs, why couldn’t he vote? Considering the jackasses that run for office, shouldn’t a dog that’s smarter than them be allowed to vote them out?

Believe it or not, a men’s hair club actually called with a ‘money saving offer’ for Kenai Harmon. Oh I HAD to mess with that one. I couldn’t help myself. Before me lay a marvelous chance to prove that some humans are forever destined to be the butt of jokes. How could I have resisted meddling with the native stupidity of an obnoxious telemarketer? If he had taken no, not interested, and given it up, I wouldn’t have befuddled him so. There are places you don’t want to know if a male has hair.

They asked what color Kenai’s hair was, and I told them he was a natural blonde, though his facial hair was black. That answer got a pause, but the guy collected himself quickly. I made him stutter when I said Kenai’s body hair was extensive. When I said he even had hair on the underside of his feet and between his toes, there was a long silence, followed by an “oh”. The coupe de gras came when the man asked if he was losing hair anywhere.

The moment I said yes, he launched into this speel about their specials, how telemarketers do.  I forced in that he did have a couple patches where the hair fell out on the left side of his tush. They hung up. I wonder if the guy ever figured out that Kenai is a dog? If he’d possessed a shred of humor, I would have told him…eventually. I’m so wicked!!! But I do have a good time.

Someone with fur and a bent bottoms did not have a good time Tuesday, finding his splendid self in a life vest, unceremoniously plopped in the pool. I tore the handle on the vest picking BB up, so it was back to the old fashioned lift and heave to the edge, then ups and splash. Good Lord, it was like trying to move a wiggling sack of concrete! He’s over 75 pounds now, and he wanted no part of the pool. Poor baby, he was shivering and pitiful before he even got in.

It’s traumatic for him, but he walks better and uses his repaired leg more every time he gets dropped in the drink. So he’s going in as much as I can lift and shove. I’ve got a tracking harness for the next load haul, and I believe I can get it to fit over the vest. It was a bit big for Kenai last month, so tiny little Beebs shouldn’t be anywhere near too big for it. Guaranteed that handle won’t tear! Tracking harness are built for powerful dogs. It’s easier to just pick him up and carry than work against the claws digging into deck planks!

 That pool stuff is just too icky! BB, 31 wks old

There would be no chance at all to get Kenai in the pool. No chance at all.

That’s one thing I wish I had found a way to make fun when he was little. The next toddles will learn to swim for fun, because these long hikes every day are turning me into road kill! It wonder if I ask, would the breeder introduce the litter with my next prospect to kiddie pools and puddles when they’re too young not to jump in and give it a try? That, and the retrieve: my next boy really needs to have the urge, like BB does. I stand still and YOU do all the back and forth!

It’ll be years before I need a puppy to train again, so by then I’ll have a long list of stuff I’d do differently. There’s several things already I wouldn’t do the same. For starters, he’ll be an only child—I won’t take Mom’s word that she’ll do all the work with a pup for herself. I do nearly all the training and exercise for BB, in addition to Kenai’s. Not only doesn’t he get enough training and exercise, it kicks my tush. Two puppies spreads me too thin, and that’s the only thing thin about me!!!!

I’ll be clicker training. It makes the puppy think for his treat: okay, if she doesn’t want a sit, then maybe a down, or a pick up. The ability to focus ON ME is something that Kenai isn’t so good at. He problem solves, the stinker, figuring out how to open doors all by himself. He just solves problems involving what HE wants.

Another thing I would change is the habit I had leftover from companion obedience classes to teach commands while facing the puppy. Why teach SD boy #2 to sit facing me, if I’ll just have to teach him to sit at my side later? The same with the recall: when he comes, why add the extra step of making them move from in front of me to the heel? We won’t be doing obedience trials, so there’s no reason for me to waste time and energy on a ‘come front’ command he won’t use. Live and learn.

Oh well, that’s the kinks I’ll hopefully not have to straighten out when it’s time to train a new youngin’. I’m sure he’ll have a couple of new kinks, having his own personality. I just hope he doesn’t insist on a backwards sit so he can watch the passersby behind us… never saw that that weirdness coming.

Next week the Brother’s Grin will be 8 months old. Wow. They’re puppy pre-teens, now. Hum. It’s PG-13 movies for you my boys!