Kenai the Intense…by Lisa Harmon August 21, 2008

 

Kenai giving me a photogenic moment, 32 wks

 

 

The pic is from 32 wks old, but he is now 33 wks: still waiting for my camera!

Okay, Kenai is in some pre-teen phase. The increasing roughness of his play and interactions is simply intolerable, and he’s gone from ignore-yous to go-to-you-know-where. The true teenage stage won’t hit until around 1 year old, and that’s 4 months away. Still, he’s being a butt. Intense is the word for him, and the behavior is anxious/dominant.

His brother BB is also rebellious, and I’ve fielded some questions on the blog stats from people whose 8 month olds are suddenly hard to handle, too. I’m pretty sure there’s some sub-stage of development I haven’t found in the few books I’ve read on the subject.

Kenai’s intensity has been trying to assert itself for a couple weeks, but this week I had to get just as commanding about my corrections. Hard running I don’t mind, because it helps him burn it off. But not running hard in the house, plowing into BB, shoving his way around, trying to bolt out the door, and other such nonsense. He destroyed a 36” bully stick down to 8” in one 3 hour nap. I won’t leave chews down when I’m sleeping now.

Monday was not a good day with Kenai, right from the start. The soap opera went on all day, really, from sun up to sun down. Mom went to PT, so I dealt with the snippy snappy over the expen, hushed the barking when the pool guys came, fed the Brothers Grin one at a time… they were just constantly starting trouble. 

Monday evening, I grit my teeth to take the rhino for a run outside, pain be hanged, and he started off just fine. Wonderful, in fact. We had a nice unleashed walk around together for a few minutes, then he moved up to trotting around exploring. When I lost sight of him in the taller grass, he came right over when I called. It was a marvelous feeling! We had hugs, plenty of affection, and a nice tushie rub for such an easy recall.

Maybe he’s allergic to being good, because he ignored me like I was shrubbery from that point on. 

He ranged and roamed, nose on the ground. He blatantly blew off my leave it command, and belligerently flicked his ears at my come command, all so he could eat critter poop because he bloody well felt like it. That brown coated, rump roasted, pain in my parts had the dangling participles to give me a doggie “go to hell”… I was half tempted to give him a reason to have crooked ears!

I did give him a growl like he’s never heard, which puzzled him just enough to look up, and I told him off. Of course the words meant nothing to him, but he seemed to get the point that our relationship had just imploded. I walked away, not with an angry “I don’t care if he comes”, but an honest to goodness I don’t care anymore. 

I wouldn’t have cared if he rolled in that pile of poop and slept in the woods. I was done trying. “If I can’t trust him, rely on him, after six solid months of training, bonding, and effort on my part, then why am I going through all this exertion?” was the way I was feeling. Tired and sick of it, ya know?

He came along and I ignored him. He followed me up the stairs, and I ignored him. He laid down next to me and I ignored him. It was my turn to treat him like he didn’t exist for a change. I was totally disgusted with him, feeling like he’s yet another “person” making demands on what little strength I have, with no signs of reciprocating.

As much as I loved him, Kenai was starting to feel like dead weight adding to the rest of the people on my breaking back. If he isn’t going to team up, then I’m not wasting anymore of my waning energy on the socialization and public access that goes above and beyond a companion. Can ya tell he hit a nerve?

All temporary emotions aside, I’ve had this nagging worry about his independent nature since I brought him home. Most people would have sent him back to the breeder by 4 months old because independence is something of a fatal flaw in a service dog. But I wouldn’t give up on him. Maybe I have a fatal flaw?

I have watched him carefully for months, looking for signs of his focus shifting to me, and for his behavior to reflect what I’ve worked so hard to teach him. I’ve been thrilled with the occasional indications of willingness to help me when I needed him.

There’s been a few signals that he’s at least aware of what he’s supposed to do as a working dog, and good days when he’s easy to handle and fun to be with. Most days though, he just doesn’t allow me to not pay attention. I can’t really trust him yet: he makes me keep an eye on him, and insist that he follows commands he learned at 10 wks old. Then there’s days like Monday, when it really all goes to tarnation with a cherry on top.

I was still ambivilent concerning Kenai’s training Tuesday morning, though we had a short list of errands, including a weigh in at the vet (110.2 pounds). Which reminds me, I need to update his growth page. Then to All About Dogs for a bag of food, and his homeopathic joint pain drops.

Kenai is able to remember the order of 2 or sometimes 3 activities, if I say “(this) first, then (this)”. He usually acts like he’s ready for the next activity once the first one is done, so I’m pretty sure he grasps at least the edges of the concept. I asked Mom if she wanted to go, and while she was getting dressed, I took Kenai for a run with his squeaky bone.

We weren’t even to the field when the “intense” reared up, and he decided he could bully the toy out of my hand. He leaped around me, blocked my path, bumped me, tried to grab it, and wouldn’t let up. Each correction got more stern. He was just ramping up, not at all backing off.

When he put his front feet in my middle I bit him, literally. No finger bite, but a bite-with-teeth bite, right on his muzzle. That arrested his attention! Then I walked right at him like he was in the way and I was gonna plow clean through him. He moved to the side and started heeling off leash.

I’m not going to put up with this bullying pre-teen BS. Excited or not, those SUV sized paws don’t lay into me, and the teeth don’t touch me. Period. He’s old enough to know better, and he DOES know better. He’s just seeing what he can pull off. He knows he can coerce his brother, and is trying use his body to intimidate me now. Grrr.

All puppies will eventually have a period of stubbornness, where they test your resolve to enforce the rules of behavior. The problem for many people is the size of a Dane puppy that is trying to boss you around. Kenai’s 110 pounds can put alot of force behind a jump, or a ram and shove.

I can’t withstand much of a wallop anymore, so I have to make absolutely plain that there will be a piper to pay if he does it again. With my physical limitations, there cannot be a second time.That’s why I bit him. I skipped the human vocal response and switched right into the doggie language of growl and bite. No confusion there!

It worked because he wasn’t being aggressive. Responding to aggression with a physical correction will get you chewed up, so please know the difference!  Aggressive dogs need a very different approach than the head-on response I gave Kenai.

Most people would unknowingly chalk up his leaping and bumping as simple over-excitement wanting the toy, and would give it or throw it for them to chase. BIG MISTAKE. Kenai’s hitting me that hard, using his body to force the toy away from me is an unquestionable dominance challenge. It’s an in-your-face demand for what he wants.

I had to respond with just as much force and even more authority. Had I let him have it, he would have been rewarded for his wild behavior. And he would do it again. I would also have had seemingly unrelated problems appear, like chewing up the dresser, or pushy mooching at the table. If he gets to push you around, you no longer have the right to make any decisions because you aren’t the leader anymore.

Most of my problem is I have a weaker energy than I did before I got sick, being so exhausted from the CFIDS. If you can have and maintain a confidence and strength in your emotions, you’ll prevent quite a bit of the leader challenging that I’m getting from Kenai. There are times I need him to step up and take over, to help me, to figure out what I need without my saying.

This “in charge” then “not in charge” can confuse a puppy. Kenai has to learn that the only times he gets to do this is when I’m injured or incapacitated. That’s tough for a little big guy. If what you have is a companion, there should not be any times when your dog is “in charge”. That means YOU make all the decisions, especially the small ones: when to play, which turn to take on a walk, what toys they can have, who eats first, etc.

Having lost that battle, Kenai decided to run a while, then “get lost” in the Johnson’s grass when I called him. I called him one more time. One “come”, and I went to the house to change my shirt and shoes for our errands. When he realized I was getting ready to leave without him, by goodness he came. And he camped out right by the door.

We had decided to take both boys in one car (tight!), and I wasn’t going to crawl around putting the barrier up. They would lay down, no nipping and fussing over the seat or there’d be some reminding of where their puppy place was in this pack. They tried me. They failed, too.

Both Kenai and BB went into the pet store, both with a gentle leader, and a pack leader not in the mood for shenanigans. Time for The Brothers Grin to toe the mark! They tried their tussling, and got their snouts snatched up. Once I had my boy’s attention, I told his majesty he was going to knock it off or find his royal bum in the car.

He knows “knock it off” and “in the car”, and has ample brains to have put the two together: he looked out the window at our car. He lowered his tail to a neutral position, walked much better, and there was no more fussing with his brother. A few crappy, hunkered down glances earned him no-nonsense correction. But there wasn’t any more jumping each other or yanking me around.

It wasn’t all grim, for the Brothers Grin, though. They got treats from the employees (If they were polite), and lots of attention too. While they’re doing what they’re supposed to they can tell I’m pleased and all is well. Kenai’s just been in this mode of not caring what pleases or displeases me.

I reward when they do something good, especially if it isn’t easy, like walking away from a nip while on leash, or laying down in a stay while the other dog gets attention. Some things are hard for puppies to do, and 8 months old is young enough to still be improving their self-control. It’s roughly equivalent to a human 10 or 11 year old child. Long way to grow, and grow up before Kenai reaches adulthood.

I know better than to think I should keep a do it or die emotion the entire time, because that hard, negative energy will actually cause a dog to misbehave. But the change in my emotions from satisfied to intolerant was forceful, and surprisingly effective. I’m sure that will wear off if I use it too much!

I don’t get that unforgiving very often, so it made an impression. I still encourage and give them a “good boy”, because they are in fact puppies. Kenai in particular can easily become discouraged and depressed if the hard energy goes on too long or too frequently. That’s why a positive training method works so well for him: I am looking for things to reward, not correct. Nobody likes to feel as if nothing they do is right!

So by the time we stopped for lunch, I think Kenai was glad to be going in without his brother. They get in trouble far more when together—if it’s not one starting a fuss, it’s the other. Toffee tush plopped himself down for an hour of relaxation. He held that stay big-time in our usual corner!

A lady came over to get a better look at him, and rather than walk back the way she came, she stepped between his legs then over his rump to go along the wall to her seat. He didn’t move, either. I slipped him a bil-jack for that! Having a stranger in such intimate proximity without the usual greeting rituals is really hard for some dogs to handle.  

He did get up just once when a man sat another table nearby. There was something about him Kenai didn’t like, because he watched him until we left. He doesn’t show any dislike of men in general, but once in a while there’ll be a man or woman that seems to make him wary. I can’t tell why by looking more often than not. But dogs are a lot more sensitive to a person’s true nature than we are. All he same, he got put back on his down stay. 

This pre-teen stage of Kenai’s feels more like adolescence. I don’t want to think that stage could be worse than this one! Kenai is feeling his oats, seeing if he can break the long established rules. He knows his size, he knows his strength, and he knows when I’m weak. He’s just forgotten that weak or not, I’m still the meanest bitch in this pack. Estrogen has an up side, ladies, for all its mood swinging, hot flashing, menstrual cramping, faults!

I’m not cherishing the possibility of having to ride herd on an obstinate bull for the next year or more until he’s an adult… I hope this phase goes away as quickly as the 3 month old “stubborns” did, in just 2-3 weeks. One month I can survive with my sanity undamaged!