Separation Anxiety


Some dogs, be they puppies or adults, suffer anxiety when seperated from their “pack”. No dog likes to be alone, but a dog that becomes destructive, barks incessantly, tears through the house at full tilt, tries to break out of the car, or is a nervous wreck when you come home has some anxiety issues. It is as upsetting to a loving owner as it is the dog.

I’ve even heard of people who have so completely changed their life that they won’t go anywhere they cannot take the dog. A dog is supposed to fit into your life, but that makes you fit into the dog’s dysfunction. Not such a good thing. The most important thing you can do to correct anxiety in a dog is by being calm and nonchalant yourself. A CALM LEADER CREATES CALMNESS. The “Dog Whisperer” does have some excellent ideas–watch him on the National Geographic Channel! Here’s his link: www.cesarmillaninc.com

My personal advice doesn’t replace or override a professional trainer with experience in this area, but I do have a few ideas about how to solve the situation. FIRST: exercise. I may be sounding like a broken record, but a tired dog is less prone to the heightened state of anxiety.

Before you leave, set aside 10-20 minutes to walk, run, swim, or bike with your dog. Any exercise that involves you and burns off energy is pleasurable to your dog. Once they are tired, a nice lovely massage will release even more endorphins in their brains and relax them further. Repeat this ritual when you return, to expend any tension the dog built up while you were gone.

If you can afford it, a dog sitter or doggie day care for a time can help you stop the anxiety faster–the more often you’re gone, the more practice the dog gets at being lonely and anxious. In a day care facility, the dog is too busy with playing and making friends to become riled up. And they come home tired!

When you don’t have to leave for work or other things, use the time to change the anxiety ritual your dog has learned. If it is the sound of keys that triggers your dog to start becoming anxious, then mess with the keys off and on all day long while completely ignoring the dog’s reaction. If they are going wild, then correct it immediately–they must know that you do not allow wildness. If they just pace or whine a little, you can ignore it and calmly go on with your business. Once they relax, then they can get a little affection. Do this with anything that sets off the anxious behavior.

Eventually they loose the response, and when they no longer react, massage and pet the dog, even while jingling the keys. You can even include the key jingling during their exercise! Whatever works for you. Slowly the dog begins to associate the ritual of leaving with relaxation and pleasure. Frequency and consistancy is the key, as always with dogs.

Also you can begin conditioning your dog with short seperations. As soon as the dog begins to show tension as you prepare to leave, correct wordlessly, and calmly. “Soothing” only encourages the dog to be anxious. Once they relax and only once they relax, give affection for a short time, then go outside for a few moments. If 30 seconds is all you can get before the dog begins to be upset, then you start with 30 seconds.

When you re-enter, ignore the dog and go do something else in the house. No touching, no talking, no eye contact. Coming and going is a normal thing to you and doesn’t require any special behavior on your part, so the dog will begin to decide that coming and going isn’t a big deal. Once the dog is quiet, then give some affection. The duration of absence will gradually increase.

Another idea is to go places where you will come and go regularly. Family get togethers, picnics, dog groups etc are all places where your not being right there will reinforce the training. While your dog is in the living room, you go get a glass of tea. If the dog is outside in the yard with the nephews, you go inside for a time.

The thing about dogs is that they don’t live by a clock or a calendar–it takes as long as it takes. We want everything fast these days, but that’s not how dogs work. We can learn patience from them, among other things. And we can learn the meaning and habits of calm and confident leadership. Once more : A CALM LEADER CREATES A CALM DOG.

Leave a comment

11 Comments

  1. Eabra

     /  November 4, 2008

    hi i have a dane old 1.5 years but ive had for 3 month and i think she have anxiety the problem is that when i leave her home togo to work she poops evry where
    so if u can give me advice i will appreciate that thanx a lot

    Reply
  2. Hi Eabra–oh my what a mess to come home to!

    My ideas are two fold: first, is it possible to give her 30 minutes or so of outdoor exercise with you before you go to work? Often running will stimulate the bowels and she will need to “go” outside, so there’s nothing left to deposit on your living room floor. Also the playtime with you causes endorphins and other “feel good” chemicals to be released in her brain, reducing the seperation anxiety.

    Second, a crate would be the best option. Very few dogs will “go” in a contained space. If you make the crate a happy place for her, this also reduces the anxiety. It’s not too hard to do–put a shirt you’ve worn inside it, let her eat inside it, let it be the only place she can have one or two of her very favorite toys or bones, have her lay down inside it after her play times when she feels good etc.

    I would suggest introducing the crate on a friday so you have the weekend to encourage good associations with it. Crates are like dens to dogs, a safe and reassuring place to go. So never use it as a punishment or “time out” or it changes the association from safe to I’m-in-trouble. I’ve gone so far as to give a dog massage and played relaxing music for them, so they learned that the crate means to relax and be peaceful.

    If you like you can begin “weaning” her off the crate after a few weeks, by leaving the door open while you’re gone for 5 or 10 minutes. As she gets to where a few minutes alone doesn’t cause her “go” somewhere, you can gradually increase the duration of being gone with the door open.

    Hopefully lots of morning exercise and a crate will break the poo cycle for you.

    Lisa Harmon

    Reply
  3. RaiulBaztepo

     /  March 29, 2009

    Hello!
    Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
    PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language ;)
    See you!
    Your, Raiul Baztepo

    Reply
  4. Hi !!! ^_^
    I am Piter Kokoniz. oOnly want to tell, that your posts are really interesting
    And want to ask you: what was the reasson for you to start this blog?
    Sorry for my bad english:)
    Thank you!
    Your Piter Kokoniz, from Latvia

    Reply
  5. Your site has touched us and we wanted to leave you a message saying thanks for the information. How often do you add more information? We are thinking about subscribing to your RSS feed to be notified of new content. How do you spend the necessary time to answer all these questions for all the people?

    Reply
  6. Dawn

     /  December 9, 2010

    I have a 10 month old great Dane. I have had her for about 3 months now she is very good when we are home but when we leave she goes crazy and we even have another dog in the house with her. We tried putting her in a crate while we were out but she totally destroyed it. So we now leave her in a bedroom with the other dog. But she poops and pee in the room and tears up anything she can reach even though the room is full of toys for her. We have her on meds but I think they are making her worse. Can anyone help please

    Reply
  7. stephanie

     /  February 8, 2011

    i have a great dane and he is 13 months old, i love him to death but when i leave my house he takes pillows off my couch and distroys them chews what ever he can, even takes the large cushions off my leather couch and has chewed them. i have another dog in the house with him and they get along great so i don’t understand..what can i do to make him and i feel better?

    Reply
  8. Jason

     /  January 20, 2012

    About to give this a try. I look forward to a calm dog around the house.

    Reply
  9. lkohana

     /  April 13, 2012

    We are military and we have a great dane puppy. we will be moving when he is about 1 1/2 yrs old. How do people actually fly their danes? We are going from Hawaii to hopefully back to the mainland. But I have read through airlines that they will only allow a certain size crate and only fly through certain times of the year. Im just curious if anyone has flown with a full grown dane. thanks

    Reply
    • wow I don’t know about flying with a Dane. I don’t fly, so I would ask show breeders who ship puppies and older dogs. That or just specifically ask the airline about an adult Dane. I hope you find out!

      Reply

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