Good Choices, Good Nutrition…by Lisa Harmon

It’s been a little while since I’ve put up a post here, and I hope your holidays were enjoyable. We got catching up to do!

I’ve been knitting and crocheting alot, and the more sedentary I’ve become the more my fatigue and fibro has bothered me. I have to be careful not to get too much physical activity, but it seems I’ve not been getting quite enough activity, either. That, combined thwith what I believe will be a year of higher costs of living vs a fixed income… I’m motiviated once again to re-start building my veggie garden.

I’ve got my landscape fabric, and I’m buying 1/2″ chat to create the walkways with. It’s cheaper than mulch and I don’t have to add more every year or two. If I can get the fabric down this month, I’m hoping by March the existing grass will have died down under it, and I can use my small Mantis tiller to work in some compost and stuff.

My body can stand up to moving one or two loads (half a ton each) of chat one day, and resting the next okay. Of course, the pain levels go up, so I’ve gone to the maximum 3 a day of the generic gabapentin (Lyrica type med), and that makes it managable. At least for awhile.

I’m hoping to reduce my grocery bills, yes, but I don’t use a bunch of chemicals and sprays if I can help it. And I use organic fertilizers and such. So my own veggies are healthier and more nutritious than what I can get at the store without going broke buying organic.

Got my fingers crossed that I can get a decent sized garden going this spring. Getting the right amount of exercise when you have FMS/CFS is a bit of an art! Each person is different, and needs to listen closely to their body’s signals.

I know this is a “dog blog”, so here’s my transition from personal to dog: getting the right amount of exercise and good nutrition for your dog is just as important, and just as much of an art! Poor nutrition and either not enough or too much exercise can be a cause of health problems like obesity and allergies. It can also be the culprit in behavioral problems such as destructive chewing or hyperactivity.

Dogs can’t talk verbally, but they do communicate! Learning how to read your dog’s behavior and physical reactions may not always be easy, but boy can it help treat and prevent problems. For instance, I personally don’t allow my dogs to run wild in the house, such as having zoomies or leaping on and off the furniture. If I got a puppy doing that, it’s time for a good run OUTSIDE.

1337040162_dd8378c302_oI know some folks who think that’s okay, or just normal puppy crazies, but a giant dog on a rampage can do serious damage to flooring and furniture, and you too. Not okay with me! Out we go, right now.

My philosophy is there is a place for hard exercise, and a place to play more gently. Dogs can quickly learn what we do here but not there, so if you start them as puppies running and zooming in the yard, but chewing bones and playing less exhuberantly with squeekies inside, they will usually continue that throughout their lives.

If a dog feels free to run on a rampage indoors, it can not only damage your home and belongings when they weigh 150+ pounds, it can damage you. I don’t like it, and I think it’s just not a good idea to allow. Especially if there are children in the house.

But they do need a place to really stretch their legs, and a good sized patch-o-grass is ideal. Lots of studies prove that exercise releases hormones and neurotransmitters that create a sense of contentment and happiness in dogs and humans both. It also can prevent health problems, like getting fat and its complications, constipation, even depression. So go play!

Dehydrated Carrots - Dog 11 lbsAs for nutrition, I’ve got a product I think would be good for raw feeding owners especially to consider adding to their dog’s diet. It’s a natural, and can help with diarrhea and many digestive issues in both raw or kibble fed dogs.  https://www.olewousa.com/categories.aspx?categoryID=100

Olewo has two formulas I’m particularly interested in; the carrots and the beets. The carrots are supposedly very good at helping diarrhea and poor appetite, which most puppies will have at some point for various reasons. The beets are reported to help control allergies and inflammation, too.

When I feed raw, I like to add veggies for bulk and fiber. Not everyone agrees with that, prefering only meat and bone. But I am a bit of a ninny about controlling the amount of calicum and other minerals in a giant breed dog’s food. Bones and meat are loaded with minerals. So I prefer to reduce the bone and meat amounts and add veggies.

Being a gardener, I would have my own carrot and beet patch, but in the winter, I’d need to supplement my frozen stash with a purchased product. I like how rigorously Olewo is tested, and that it is a fully natural product.

A puppy in my home is still the goal, but I’ve got two issues that have to be sorted before I’ll buy a new baby boy. One is my own health and finances: I need to reduce some bills (food!) so I can more comfortably afford any food my puppy may need, even if it’s expensive. The other is Mom; she must be independantly functioning, not depleting my physical energy and emotions all the time.

th (1)I’m taking positive action towards those goals: the garden, and the fact that I flatly refuse to “do for” anymore. My New Year’s resolution is to extract myself from Mom, regardless of the fuss. It’s going to be a rough transition, since she’s shifted total responsibility for herself onto me for years now.

I know it sounds mean, but there is no reason she cannot be independant other that not wanting to. She stays up watching TV until 2am or 3am, then expects me to spend hours trying to get her out of bed at 7am.

It’s not happening, it frustrates the hell out of me every single day, and it’s a totally unneccessary intrusion on my own schedule. She can make appointments in the afternoon, and get up late on her own. There are a thousand excuses why she doesn’t want to, but too bad.

She is responsible also for what and when and if she eats. I’m not a short order cook, and if she chooses to snack n graze rather than making an actual meal for herself, that’s her choice. I don’t want to hear about her upset tummy from not eating or being tired if she can’t be bothered with her own physical needs. Not my choice, not my consequences.

There’s other things too, but I’m not here to whine, not anymore. My life is my own, and I am sovereign: I’ll decide what I do and don’t do. That isn’t going to be decided anymore by what she wants, feels, or finds convenient at my expense. Baby steps don’t work with her, and I’ve tried for years to take it one problem at a time with her. But it’s like wrestling with an octopus: pry one arm off there are new ones to take its place. So it’s cold-turkey time.

Until she can function on her own, and make choices based on what’s healthy for her rather than a whim or lazy impulse, I won’t get a puppy. She’d just use him too, enjoying him when she wants then neglecting his care as she had with BB and Taj and all the others. Truth is I  don’t want to live with her like this, so I won’t subject a puppy to a house full of chronic complaining and poor me.

I’ve become something of a frustrated, anxiety ridden nag the past year or so, because I’ve allowed her to use my love and concern for her well being as leverage to continue destructive habits. New year, better life, even if it’s only better by my reckoning.

Bring the Volume Down…by Lisa Harmon

I found a really good blog post that most all of us would find familiar. Chaos at Christmas, or Hanukaah, or New Year’s, or (-). What most people without disabilities don’t really grasp is “if I get exhausted by the extra work, what’s it like for someone with pre-existing aa_0315fatigue”? National MS Society Blog: Trying to Make the Holidays Less Overwhelming.

There are many conditions and illnesses, even medicines, that can create fatigue from the simplest activity. Anything from uncontrolled blood pressure to outright Chronic Fatigue Syndrome can make just getting through an ordinary day an act of will.

Now spike that activity level, pile on some emotional stress, maybe a touch of insomnia, and boom–you got a fatigue related crisis.

It all comes to a head around the various holidays–July 4th, Thanksgiving, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Easter… At least most holidays and gatherings are short term events. But the Christmas season starts around Thanksgiving and goes on for some 6 weeks.

There have been holidays where I did all the baking and cooking and wrapping, and was so wiped out I went to bed without making it to the gathering. Someone else had to take the food and gifts, because I didn’t have enough go-go juice to shower and dress, let alone handle hours of “fun”.

Confession time: After a lifetime of living in a really dysfunctional immediate family, I find I actually avoid even the wonderful relatives, especially the kids. Isn’t that awful?

They want to play, they make lots of noise and commotion, and get sad when I say I need to go. They don’t understand, and I can’t reasonably expect them too. How else are they to feel? Worse, often Mom won’t drive herself so I am trapped there until she wants to leave and it’s well past when I need to leave, sometimes by hours. That alone sends my anxiety levels soaring well before the day comes.

It’s not the kid’s fault. They’re just normal kids with an abnormal aunt.

But I feel like a jerk when I have to bail. If I can’t leave, what’s meant to be fun becomes hell on earth. I know it hurts their feelings, probably makes them think I don’t care about them. But for days afterwards the fibro pain is unbearable, my ears ring and roar, the fatigue keeps me in bed, my balance is shot, migraines make me miserable… just taking a shower isn’t worth it. That’s how bad it gets. And stays bad. A long time.

love-unloved1

The avoidance is mine. I need to understand it, own it, and deal with it. I’ve been conditioned to avoid being with people  if they have any right to have expectations of me. Not because of that particular person, like my oldest brother or my neices, but because of others that have deliberately put themselves at the top of the priorities, and shoved me off the list altogether.

It began with an abusive father, then a passive and destructive alcoholic brother, then an even more passive and emotionally helpless co-dependent mother. They all had one habit in common: their wants, moods, and demands came at the expense of Lisa. They came first, regardless of the harm they did to me. It was like second nature to them. Being disabled, there was no financial way for me to escape.

My father and alcoholic brother have passed away. But I still can’t get away from my mother because of financial limits, and the fact that I do love her and want to help her become healthy, and independent. For some reason I could readily part with the other two, but not so readily with Mom. Hum.

Boiled down, I’ve spent my life trapped and unimportant to the people I should have mattered most to. 40+ years of disregard makes you want to avoid anyone with wants and demands. And my avoiding the good folks introduces hurt from my actions into their lives, which makes me feel worse.

Now I’m not whining, and that’s hard to convey in the written word. I’m sorting. I’m figuring out where my avoidance of lovely family members comes from so I can deal with it and get past it. It is mine to deal with. It is up to me to develop strategies and implement them. Like the author of the blog link, I recognize where the responsibility for changing my feelings and behavior lies–with me.

Christmas Dinner

So…rather than avoid people, what I really want to avoid is being trapped and disregarded.

  1. do not go in the same car with Mom–if I have a car, I can leave when I need to, and she can stay as long as she wants. That way I have say in how long I visit, instead of someone else saying how long I visit. I know my body’s warning signs, and I know my need to leave will not be respected. 
  2. go there if the get together will be more than an hour or so–rather than having people come to my house. The only reason it feels like an invasion is the natural tendency for visits to inevitably last too long. Especially if I don’t see them often. And there’s nowhere to go if I need to, not without being followed or forced into doing something that makes me feel like a jerk (going to my room or asking them to leave).
  3. go more often when possible–frequent, short visits are much easier on me than long ones. Perhaps visit with nearby family every other week, for say, a trip to Burger King with my neice. Lower doses are more do-able, with less physical consequences. If I visit with them regularly, they don’t feel as neglected, nor worry they won’t see me again soon, and try to drag things out or manipulate somewhat to keep me from leaving.

Number three on that list has the ring of a New Year’s resolution to it, for certain. But that’s what personal change and loving family requires–commitment. Sometimes with a bit of wise tweaking in how we go about it.

Finding Christmas In Christmas

Christmas and Hanukkah are coming up on us fast. I managed to get the tree up, despite the fibro and fatigue, though you can see it’s not decorated (yet). I also got the big nativity out of the closet, and by big, I mean BIG. Lots more to do.

There’s a neverending stream of to-do with Christmas: parties, fighting the crowds, wound up kids with wish lists, you name it. I’d like to point out what often gets lost–that YOU name it. You have choices about how busy you are, about how much you spend, how crazy your holiday time is.

Do you “lose” Christmas during the Christmas season? Does Hanukkah cease to be about light, miracles, and the love of God somewhere along the way?

Or does the reality of money (the lack of it actually) get all up in your giving spirit? Gifts people you love want and you just cannot afford can make you feel like a heel. The idea that the amount you spend equals how much you love is everywhere around us, both subtly and not so subtly.

I live on SSDI, so money is always tight. It is for many people, for many reasons. I think about just my immediate family and wonder how on earth I can afford even $30 a person. SSDI limits the amount you are allowed to save. They cut your benefits if your total assets, from the car to the savings account, total more than $2k.

How to get around that…? I began a few years ago making fudge, and cookies, and mailing them for gifts. The shipping is deadly but I’d have to ship anything I gifted anyway. I started out sending dozens and dozens of treats, spending days baking at a time. The fatigue has intruded on that quantity, more than once.

But I’ve found that I can still make killer fudge easy enough, and I’ve started making cookies they won’t get from anyone else to try and make up for it. Orange cranberry cookies, or apple butter cookies, for example.  How many lemon blueberry cookies have you seen amidst the typical cookie buffet at Christmas parties?

If you’re disabled, the reality of what you can and what you can’t do can make you believe you’re the party pooper. Do you find there are many activities you should say no to but feel bad if you do? Are there things you could do but no one in your family is willing to accomodate?

Solving the “how do I manage” or “what to I give” comes down to what we believe is important about the holiday we celebrate. I for one would rather have a genuine and joyful season than a “perfect” Christmas that looks like a magazine spread. I don’t need a bunch of “stuff” under the tree to be happy. I have most of what I need in terms of “stuff”. One or two gifts that are useful, or say a special yummy I won’t usually indulge in is enough for me. I know, I’m weird!

For whatever reason, does a season of peace and joy turn into strife and frazzle on you? You wouldn’t be alone if it does, that’s for sure! Unfortunately, the way we’ve come to define a “perfect Christmas” means we’re so hassled and broke there’s not much enjoyable about it anymore. I heard on a TV show that 47% of people would rather skip the holidays altogether. How sad!

What would we lose if there was no Christmas?

Maybe we should just lose the crazy in Christmas, and replace it with what we really need: joy, love, peace, and kindness. And you DO have that ability, regardless of the best sabotage efforts of the usual Grinch suspects. For many it’s their family members who are the Grinches, and we can’t change other people. Some of the un-fun is unavoidable.

What is really important? Think about which of your personal traditions will no one forget if you kept, and what would no one remember if you skipped.

Surely you know someone, even just one person, who would think a cup of hot cocoa while watching the kids play in the snow is what makes a holiday. Maybe you’d like to decorate the tree as a family, talking about why this ornament goes up or who we remember with that ornament, and that would be spot on for you.

Nearly all of us kinda “know” what we need. If we’re hassled, a peaceful time helps us catch our breath. If our family’s bickering is getting on our nerves, we’d like to have a time where everyone just gets along and says how much they love each other. If we cannot afford a gift for someone, or they cannot afford one for us, time together is more valuable anyway!

Whatever it is you need or want, say it, and ask for it. It is their gift to you, and yours to them. Chose to do what matters, that will be remembered many a Christmas from now.

“Mom, this year, instead of buying you a gift, I want to take a day and just spend it with you. Remember how we used to (–)? Let’s do that again.”

“Honey, I know my body cannot stand up to a cross country flight this year. Can we make your Grandfather a video of all the memories we have of him, and all the reasons we love him? Then we can use the internet to visit, and still be able to have him be a part of our holiday?”

I know it can be hard, but try to put the miracle back in Hanukkah, and the peace back in Christmas this year! You can do it, at least a little bit, in little moments. And if you get to feeling down about what you can or can’t do, here’s a video that is really inspiring: TheBlaze.com: Video: Glenn Beck Program : Nick Vujicic – Video.

A Not So Secret Marvelous Secret to Life…by Lisa Harmon

Denise and Chloe
I must admit, this is my favorite assistance dog pair.  http://hearingelmo.wordpress.com/  or https://www.facebook.com/HearingElmo I KNOW, it’s not a Dane, so please pardon. But these two ladies are just the most delightful friends to have.
Chloe came from Fidos for Freedom, and works (HARD!) as a hearing assistance dog, with a bit of mobility/balance assistance. http://www.fidosforfreedom.org/
Hardly a post goes by via wordpress or facebook that Denise doesn’t make me smile, make me think, or just notice something I would not have noticed.
 She’s just fun!
And she’s real–no pretense of never having a flaw or doing something less than brilliant. Denise can laugh at her dingy-human moments. She can even laugh at her disability, admitting the really odd things she thought someone said when the words get garbled.
Denise has found a secret to life, whether you live with or without a disability; enjoy every little thing you can.
My fatigue levels say “nope, no working for you gal”, and in truth, finishing my laundry in one day is a challenge. But I can go sit on the deck in the autumn sunshine with a cup of hot cocoa.
Sugar Free cocoa for me: 1/4 cup of water, 2 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa, 1/4 teaspoon of vanilla, and Splenda equivalent of 2 tablespoons of sugar, mixed up smooth and added to 3/4 cup of warmed heavy cream.
What can you enjoy right now? Big or small, matters not. Even if it’s only a cup of cocoa, savor the sweetness, the warm liquid versus the cool air, the big fat fuzzy sweater you got on, and maybe even the antics of a squirrel looking for the best acorns to stash. Find it. Trust me–FIND IT. If I’ve learned anything from clicker training, it is the need to always keep a proverbial eye out for something positive to click and reward, for the every little thing that’s good and a step in the right direction.
Before you think to yourself that humans aren’t like other creatures, that we are so much more enlightened and not nearly so “primitive”, allow me to ask you to question that. We are mammals. We are special mammals, singular mammals but mammals just the same. Mammals with a soul, or a spiritual ability, yes. But the brain is the brain, and it has the same basic structure as other mammals. We learn via many of the same modes, such as social mimicry, experience, and which parts of our brains have the most active wiring.
What are you making a mental “click and reward” of regularly? Check it, because what you notice and respond to gives weight to it. Do you give weight to more of the “well, that was dumb of me” than to “hey, you did it”? We’ll never run short of things to beat ourselves up for, nor things to think positively about ourselves. The only difference is which gets noticed more.
If like me, you are hard on yourself, realize it is a tendency that becomes a habit. If like me, you can judge someone else hard, that too will become a habit. My Mom is really deep in a world of being managed entirely by feelings and impulses, and she can drive me up a wall. There are days I wanna swing from the light fixtures. Yes–I can easily go to “if she does __ one more stinkin’ time”. I have to be absurdly vigilant sometimes about my mental click and response.
A pup whose feedback is mostly correction for doing something wrong will fast become insecure and hesitant. A puppy that is consistently rewarded for getting something right at every opportunity grows into a confident and trusting dog. Even “basics”, like a pat and treat for relieving themselves outside, or looking at then walking away from the shoe they could have chewed on, IS IMPORTANT. It is a chance to tell the pup you are proud of them, that they can make good choices, that you noticed what a good boy or girl they are. It builds confidence.
The very same is true for humans: we can build our confidence up, we can build better relationships on our end, or we can do the opposite. Pay attention to what you pay attention to, and deliberately choose to go heavy on the positive. It really is a choice. Perhaps it will be a struggle if you aren’t used to it, but here’s a secret to the marvelous secret of life my friend Denise has discovered: it is the determination to enjoy what you can that defines who you become, not the habits or circumstances.
“Thank God for all the good things, ’cause the good things are enough. The ties that bind and leave behind a legacy of love…” http://www.songlyrics.com/david-phelps/legacy-of-love-lyrics/.

Learning More All the Time

The tile is taking longer than expected, maybe going on until the end of the week.  But last Saturday night was the last one I have to spend sleeping in the kitchen, so the end is in sight. I’d love to put some photos up soon, though I have to wait for the photoshop software to come. I tried downloading it, but no dice, there wasn’t enough RAM in the new computer for a download that size.

Still, I can find pretty colorful pics to share here from the internet! This is a rug set I’ve bought for the various rooms. There’s the bedrooms and entryways and stuff that will need rugs. There’s a lovely echo effect with bare tile!

I wanted a 10×13 or bigger for the living room, but that’s hard to find with a latex backing. (I tend to trip on turned up and skidding carpets). I also want to get some fitted furniture covers, and insulated curtains next month. It may be August but fall and winter isn’t too far away.

I know…this is a blog for dogs, not home decorating! But that’s what I’m stuck doing, for the next couple weeks anyway.

Despite the current state of exhaustion, I figure it’s best to get done what I need to get done now, so I have the winter to rest. As said in an earlier post, I chose tile for it’s being waterproof and easy to clean–less work keeping the house clean for a new puppy.

The rugs I’m looking at, the furniture covers, even the paint type I chose (enamel) has the same purpose: easy to wipe off, or throw in the washer sort of products. The less time I spend scrubbing, the more time and energy I have for a new puppy next year. I found this great article about puppies in general, though it is geared towards assistance dogs. Being the science geek I am, this was my “cup of tea”. http://www.puppyprodigies.org/Early%20Learning%20Focus.htm

“The most influential time of a puppy’s life is between three and six weeks.  Fear is not present in newborn puppies.  It begins to develop slowly around five weeks of age, and increases gradually until it escalates in the fear imprint period during the eighth week.

Therefore, there is a window of opportunity between three and six weeks of age when anxiety levels in the puppy are the lowest they’ll ever be in their entire life.  Anything the puppy is exposed to between this timeframe will therefore be associated with low anxiety.”

Once again, this proves how terribly important it is to choose your breeder with the utmost care: that 3-6 week old socializing window is entirely up to the breeder to make the most of. The early exposures a puppy can have is limited only by creativity really, within the parameters of safety of course. For instance going to different dog parks for an unvaccinated puppy is terribly unsafe. But being wrapped in a blanket and carried into different stores or human environments during the course of those weeks (away from the litter) is an excellent idea.

If you are a breeder, please, please consider improving your early development skills for your litters. If you are looking for a puppy, consider choosing a breeder who uses these techniques. Puppies intended for pets or working dogs alike need the ability to cope with stress, to be unafraid of human generated noise, and accept frequent handling. http://www.puppyprodigies.org/Early%20Learning%20Program%20Highlights.htm

I’ve also been studying charts and graphs about Dane structure in much more detail than ever before. The Great Dane Club of America has an illustrated guide to the standard here: http://www.gdca.org/illustrated-standard.html

I still haven’t gotten the “show lingo” to penetrate my skull too well, though I’ve joined some Facebook owner handler groups to try and learn. They’re also a good resource for which judges like what if I choose to show the next puppy.

Since agility and dog sports aren’t an option for me to practice working with the puppy in loud and distracting environs, as well as accepting handling etc for the Canine Good Citizen test, that leaves showing as a possiblity. Or at least conformation classes.

Knowing the standard isn’t just about beauty though: this pic shows the structure a Dane should have. Variations like too long of a body, or a shoulder with the wrong angles has a direct effect on longevity, in terms of arthritis and joint issues. Even if you are only wanting a companion dog, rather than a working dog, the more you know about health and conformation, the more of the predictable orthopedic troubles you can avoid.

Danes don’t live long, and their prime working age period is short. Sadly, seven years is the average life span these days, so if a dog has good structure, and is well cared for, 10 years of healthy life isn’t too much to expect. That is, barring things like bloat or cancer, or those infernal ticks…

I’ve also updated the feeding and growth page to the right. The links were old and difficult to load now that the articles are archived. So I’ve put new ones up. And I’m still researching particular food brands, in the hopes of creating a list of foods that are good for giant breeds. Most recently, I’ve found the Innova large breed puppy is one of the very few “puppy” kibbles that has safe mineral and protien levels. The adult large breed is also spot on. http://www.innovapet.com/products/941

All the things I’ve written about lately have been ways to give a Dane puppy a leg up for becoming a working dog: early neural stimulation and socializing before 8 wks old for their temperment, being picky about their structure and conformation, putting the greatest time and effort into their training from 8-16 weeks old, too (as opposed to cleaning the house).

It may seem like I’m idle, with no dog to work with right now, but truth is, I’m gearing up. Educating myself, reading and studying, preparing the house to be as little effort as possible all have my end of the deal in mind: the right puppy choice, and the very best love, care, and training I am physically able to provide.

Checking Below Ground…by Lisa Harmon

Life can be hard.

There’s a blog I follow that I simply love, and this is one of the most peircing posts on it I’ve read for awhile. I so completely understand this lady’s words that I have a visceral “YES!! That’s what I’m feeling myself” reaction.

http://hearingelmo.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/another-look-at-isolation/

It seems everyone I know is having a tough time with one thing or another, some with many things all at once. I like to be the one who can say, “It’ll be better soon”, to give some optimism when the glass is half-empty for my friends. I also like when my friends do the same for me. People can be amazingly wonderful!

My glass is half-empty right now. Despite the wisdom of past experience, despite some wonderful people I know through the internet, I feel more than half empty these days. The laundry list of why doesn’t really matter, because we all sometimes find ourselves there with totally different why’s.

Me being, me, my habit is to try to delve beneath the why-list and look at the undertow that has pulled me down. I learned long ago that it’s not the feelings or circumstances that are the problem; it is the beliefs we hold so deep in us that we cannot readily see them, like the roots of a plant.

If the above ground part of the plant is withering, better check below ground

A gardener knows that a seedling gives off moisture and other things through their leaves. Yes, plants ”breathe”, by taking in water and oxygen, giving off CO2 and humidity. This is when they have sufficient moisture and nutrients at the root zone.

A seedling in a pot whose roots leave the pot in search of water and nutrients are “air pruned”. They cannot find soil or water, so they will harden up and stop growing. That’s when the warmth and sunshine every plant needs becomes detrimental rather than beneficial. The warmth and sunlight dries the plant out further. An air pruned seedling really needs repotting to a larger container, or to be planted in open ground.

Danes have always been warmth and sunshine to me. But of late, however dear I loved them, BB and Kenai’s needs  followed by Levi’s difficulties dried me out and left me air pruned. My lovely beautiful boys and some issues at home took more out of me that I could afford to give out. My proverbial roots are parched and hardened.

A picture got my attention the other day, and the more I contemplate it, the more I believe a deep answer lies therein.

Comparison is a dangerous game to play. Comparing yourself to others is an obvious mistake. No one can walk in your shoes, can have in your memories and experiences, so a person to person comparison is apples to oranges.

But there’s a comparison game that can go unrecognized: comparing your circumstances, your emotions, your situation with the picture you have in your head about “what should be”. Expectations we have and don’t know about are immensely powerful things.

Take Levi’s problems as example: it wasn’t Levi, it was my expectation that I should have been able to help him adjust. I have experience with dogs after all, I have some skills as a trainer and dog owner. I wanted so badly to prove to some nay-sayers that a Dane most certainly can tell one color from another and build a remarkable task list to help me.

I expected somewhere inside that if I worked hard enough, was a smart and good enough trainer, that little Levi was gonna prove what a Dane can do. And I was gonna prove what I could do, disability be hanged. I’m no failure, durn it, “I CAN”. I can overcome, and adapt, and be (____).

God’s truth, the ordeal with Levi made me deeply doubt whether or not I am still capable of working and living with dogs.  3 dogs in a row, washed. Yes there were their illnesses, there were problems with their aptitude for the job. But I couldn’t overcome those problems. I took those “fails” personally, as if it reflected on my personality, my ability, my judgement.

Each “fail” was air pruning me more and more, and went unaddressed. As my health problems worsed, I put band-aids on them to get by and keep going, wanting to put the dogs’ needs first.

Living with my Mom, well, she’s so far down in depression and PTSD that she is incredibly needy and demanding as well. It’s a mess, and an exhausting one at that.

So I was hell bent on having a success, having a loving Dane that could be nourishing, and warming, and assistive to me just by being the loving, gentle creatures they are. Oh how I miss that flow of love and nourishing between me and a dog…

But I’m hardened and parched, so can even a Dane penetrate that dried out ground? Probably not. I need to deal with me, to face and feel and consciously consider my expectations and needs. It’s up to me to soften, and open, and stop avoiding.

My usual treatments aren’t working: biofeedback, medicine, vitamins. On the advice of an internet friend, I’m going to try something new and a bit foreign to me. This friend is an energy healer, who explained much of the complexities of chakras and energy flow through the body in a simple clear way for me.

Her terminology for air pruned and hardened is closed chakras, not allowing my emotions and physical state to balance itself and be healthier. The biofeedback can’t help as much as once because my heart and body has shut itself down and closed off.

So it’s Kundalini yoga time for me. It’s physically challenging right now, and the meditation part is difficult for me too. But I am tenacious. That I have proven to myself. I can endure and keep trying rather well. I was just enduring and keeping on with motives and expectations that were becoming destructive.

Don’t worry, I’m not moving to India or wearing hemp anytime soon! But if this new tool in the shed helps me, then I’m glad to have it. It’s called in the Bible “redeeming the time”, while I wait for the right little fur-man to come into my life, with the aptitude and personality that dovetails with my own. He’s coming, this toddly playful baby Dane. I want to be ready when he appears…

Thank you Kenai, and BB, and Levi. You’ve each brought me wisdom, and I love you still, always.

European Danes in America…by Lisa Harmon

remember this boy? Kenai, my late part European Dane.

If the number of breeders with big athletic American Danes that win in a show ring are small, the number of breeders whose European or part Euro Danes that win in an AKC show ring are even smaller. Most attend International shows here, and fare better.

Euro Danes have heavier bone, bigger heads, more jowels, and they do not generally get rewarded for it in the AKC. There’s a good deal of subjectiveness in conformation shows. It puts off alot of people who want to show and have dogs worthy of it.

The choices aren’t neccessarily limited for quality European bloodlines in America. Importing is common. But my choices for show quality Euro Danes who’s breeders use the ENS and rules of sevens for early, effective socializing are drastically more limited.

Lots of people are breeding “Euro’s” in America now and some have wonderful dogs, but be cautious: a large number of breeders will get an import then slap a $2000 price tag on a puppy. You can’t call a pup show quality because the pup came from champion lines. A champion line doesn’t guarantee a well made, good temperment Dane.

The European Danes tend to be heavier in body, and that can make for conformation issues too. As far as temperment, Euros often are more laid back and easy, but many are just plain hard-headed. The personalities of European and American Danes have some differences as distinct as their appearance.

There are some excellent Euro and part Euro Danes in the US, but searching for a Euro Dane is a buyer beware situation. I really detest how buying a quality Great Dane has become such a heartbreaking ordeal for puppy buyers. The nightmare stories are abundant. That is partly why I’m naming the breeders I’ve found who use ENS and rules of sevens to prepare their litters for life beyond the litter. I can’t list or even find all the outstanding breeders, btw, so don’t think this is comprehensive at all.

If you are looking for a Euro puppy, please, please, please know the Great Dane Club’s breeder ethics inside and out. DO NOT BUY from a breeder that doesn’t follow them. Ethics means no breeding merles, no crossing color lines like blues with fawns, no breeding a bitch every year…

The point of breeding isn’t because they love their dogs, want to create “rare” colors, or worse, are in it for money. Breeding is to create healthier, physically and mentally sound Great Danes. And the ENS, rules of sevens, and sound sensitization makes for better temperment on any puppy, companion or working dog.

RENAISSANCE GREAT DANES

http://www.renaissancegreatdanesandneos.com/Ourdanes.html

Renaissance Danes breed blues, blacks, harls, and they have a fawn they call a professional couch potato! This pic is of a stud named Pharaoh. They show some, though not heavily, but certainly can tell what is show quality and what isn’t.

I struck pay dirt here. This breeder uses ENS stimulation, she’s been a positive reinforcement trainer for years, she has degrees in Animal Science, behavioral psych, and worked as a vet tech. She exposes her pre 8 wk old puppies to everything imaginable, including agility equipment, and provides the very best socializing experiences possible.

I fully intend to drive up for some visits, and let her get to know me. What I need and what personality of puppy will work out for me has proven to be a bit of a tricky picking job. As we become better aquainted, I’ll explore her knowledge of aptitude testing, and am both glad and intimidated that she insists on following her puppies after they’ve been placed.

It’s wonderful that she cares, but if you’ve ever dealt with a busybody breeder it worries you! That may just be my anxiety. I don’t think she’s a busy body. I hope she will allow me to come after puppies are born too, to interact with each pup individually a few times before we select a puppy for me. Those are all topics that will come up over the course of time.

TRIBAL Great Danes

http://www.tribaldanes.com is another great breeder who uses ENS, and is highly involved in early socializing of her puppies. She remains involved with her puppies in their new homes as well. I struck pay dirt again!

Right now her litter is expected over the winter, which is too soon for me to give a puppy the best I can give. I need to rest, to become stronger and rebuild my energy reserves. But that’s okay–I’m in this for the long term, and there is always another litter in the future, right?

She has some success in the show ring, and her pups have done well in obedience, and competitive Rally. She attributes this to the ENS stimulation and early socializing, (yay!). This is a great breeder to find wonderfully built and trainable part European Danes! I was really excited to find her and her show handler. Her dogs are beautiful, sound, and well-tempered.

Choices from America…by Lisa Harmon

AMERICAN DANES

Overall, I’m not pleased with the state of Great Danes in America. They’ve become either tiny and delicate, or disproportionately tall and scrawny. When I was young it was typical for even a fawn male, which tends to be smaller than say a mantle, to weigh in about 170 pounds.

This is a nice quality Dane here, but still very small and to my eye, insubstantial for an intact male. Back in the day, ya didn’t see the average Dane with long chicken legs, snipey heads, and narrow chests outside of poor quality puppy mills. It’s hard to find even a good male like the one in this pic these days.

I believe the rewarding of AKC show judges for “elegant” and “refined” has weakened the Great Dane overall. My opinion, for what it’s worth. And the explosion of uninformed pet owners that breed without a clue to what makes a truly beautiful, sound Dane has made the selection of Great Danes a frustrating experience for anyone who remembers what Danes used to look like, move like, and their former longevity.

It’s been 40 yrs since I met my first Dane, and the widespread weenie-ness of Great Danes I see these days sent me looking for European bloodlines a few years ago. The European breeders have generally maintained the working dog body: shorter, heavy boned, muscluar and athletic Dane.

This intact brindle is more like what I remember, and what I admire as the traditional standard. This dog could work for years and never wear out. If he could pull a cart, he could pull me up a steep slope once in awhile without developing arthritis at 5 yrs old.

My philosophy is a dog was created to work for and with humans. Once upon a time, they weren’t accessories, not intended for nothing more than to be well, decorative. Since I need a Dane that can work, can bear weight, can carry a pack, I cannot have a delicate decoration.

That being said, there are some American Breeders with strong, well built, substantial dogs to choose from. And I’ve stuck to the desire for ENS and rules of seven socializing that the breeder must do before an 8 wk old comes home with me. I will certainly clicker train, and use the “Control Unleashed Puppy” once I get them, but the breeder has as much or more to do with a pups future success than most people realize.

My American Breeder Choices

Saravilla Danes has American Danes, with the harl lines, which produce harlequins, mantles, and occasional blacks. They also work with ChromaDane, who won’t have pups available even next year. They are excellent breeders using ENS and other socializing techniques in their pre-7wk old puppies.

http://saravillagreatdanes.com/

There is nothing insubstantial about their dogs, and I like that. Unfortunately I don’t prefer the harl/mantle color for Danes, just as a matter of personal tastes. But if their dogs have the goods for a working dog, I gotta put on my big girl panties and care less about superficial stuff like coat color.

Saravilla requires a good kibble, and approves of neutering after sexual maturity even for companions. She also is a welcoming and visitor-friendly lady. So a trip to Ohio is in my near future! My only concern is working dogs tend to have higher energy levels, and having Chronic Fatigue…

I may ask for a show quality male, and have a go at conformation shows. It’s expensive and alot of work, but it is the best way to learn what really makes a dog’s body structually sound, what it takes to have smooth ergonomics so the joints last, and a tolerant disposition. All of which is essential for a working dog.

Being an experienced Dane owner, I got the basics of conformation: a straight topline, good angles in the stack, a nicely shaped head. But there’s a big difference between an experienced owner’s eye, and a breeder/shower’s eye. There’s much to learn there.

Green Bean, the big beautiful black Dane!

It’s a strange name for such a majestic, laid back fellow. But he’s no scrawny string bean. His owner strictly follows the GDCA code of ethics in breeding. I’ve known them from Facebook for awhile now, and they seriously know their Dane genetics!

Green Bean is not only gorgeous and well built. He is a (get this) a Dock Diving Dane, who watches the fireworks in the park, and never gets in a flap.

I’m aware of the “black dog syndrome”, and would expect perhaps more access challenges if one of Beanie Boy’s pups becomes my service dog. But heck, any Dane attracts serious attention in a grocery store or restaurant.

I have come to love Bean’s owner, and trust their judgement. They were “there” for me during the heartbreaking ordeal with Levi, and gladly volunteered to help me find a puppy that I would have a much better chance of success with. Kindness makes a world of difference to me.

LIBERTY DANES https://www.facebook.com/#!/libertydanes.lrs?sk=info

I’ve not had much contact with this lady yet, but I do now have a phone number. She not only trains, shows, and uses her harl lines for assistance dogs, she has a Dane SD herself. I am hoping like crazy she will agree to mentor me, teach me, and make a durn good owner trainer out of me. Her expertise in puppy aptitude testing would make a huge difference for me, reducing the chances of another wash out.

Again, the harl lines I don’t prefer, but even if I purchase a black Bean boy, I hope very much she will become a world of help to me. She has experience in both the conformation ring and the service dog training arena. And the center she works and trains at is only 3 hours drive time from my home.

farewell my love…by Lisa Harmon

This is the last pic of Levi here in my home…13 wks old.

I have been very afraid for Levi. Aggression of any kind in a Great Dane is a worrisome, dangerous thing. There isn’t much time to correct it in a puppy before they are of sufficient size to do terrible damage. My greatest fear was he would have to be put down someday. It’s a horrible sense of responsibility…

Young master Levi has gone to a new home in Illinois (sigh). It was an agonizing decision process for me personally, as you might guess. But many a loving reader of this blog and many a wise facebook friend gave me the courage to give the little man a new home and a fresh start.

If I couldn’t teach him how to interact with people, perhaps he could learn it from other dogs? He seemed to crave canine companionship. Perhaps it was more need than want. Social mimicry is a powerful learning method for pups, and my hope was it would be how he could learn to interact appropriately.

He left a week ago today.

I had lost internet and phone service for a couple days right after that, so I was sweating blood, desperate for news of him. I probably would have driven his new owner bonkers, so for her sake I’m glad I didn’t have the means to be a pest!

But I soon learned…LEVI’S DOING WELL! He’s loving having puppies to play with, he’s learning quickly from them and the older dogs how to interact appropriately with both dogs and humans!

The relief is so strong it’s a physical sensation, and I can breathe again. It’s odd how I ceased to truly miss him when I got that news. I think him quite a lot, but not with the sense of loss and dread that I’d expected. It even softens the sense of failure, an awful decision of mine that could have come with a horrifying price for Levi.

I’m broke, of course. Spent all my savings and then some for him: roughly $3,ooo all total. And I’m back to square one about getting a Dane for service dog training. So I suppose it’s okay that I am the one paying for my own mistake. I’d much rather pay it myself than have the cost fall on an innocent little pup.

The struggle of the past weeks though has brought to my attention some wonderful, nourishing people who stood by me and sustained me with their kindness. Thank you Em, and the Denise’s, and Green Bean, and April, and…

There are now 3-4 breeders of outstanding quality that I’m following, and learning from. I likely won’t have the money or energy for a puppy (perhaps an older dog), until fall or next year. Still, I can “redeem the time” by learning and growing.

I’m considering asking my trainer if she would allow me to shadow her, perhaps becoming an unpaid assistant. And the knowledge base of the breeders I’ve been put in contact with makes my next choice less of a stab in the dark: they temperment test, they health test, they know working Danes inside and out.

So not all is lost. Oddly enough, an old saying keeps quietly popping into my head: you cannot gain until you have lost.

Color And Number Recognition for SDit

Between 8-16 weeks old, I begin training a little pup to recognize colors and numbers. By 4-6 months old, they should be pretty good at recognizing colors and big shapes. Dog vision is different, and they recognize blue and yellow pretty well. What we see as red or green is not the red or green we see. But like us, dogs can often recognize various shades of a color.

Teaching Colors for Tasks

Color recognition helps a service dog or service dog in training in many ways, from recognizing visually which soda I want (red soda or black soda is regular Coke or Coke Zero), to the walk/don’t walk signal at a crosswalk.

Great Danes in olden days hunted using both scent and sight, so I’m hoping to tap into this instinct, as “find it” is really just hunting.

If I’m not feeling well, a pup can learn to recognize that Pepto doesn’t look like Nyquil, and bring the one I ask for. They probably also use their noses to differentiate, but color is the main factor in recognizing an item from a distance.

So when I began teaching a tiny tot, I used construction paper for them to “target”. I say the color when putting a treat on the paper, to teach both the name of the color and to touch with nose or paw when I said the word. Then I will hold up the paper to say the word, get them to touch it on their own without a treat, then give a click/reward.

When they regularly touch, say the yellow paper, I will then add a blue paper the same way. Once both colors have been used alot, I will ask for one color while both papers are present. Hopefully the pup will have made the connection with the word and that color paper.

If not, I need to return to using an additional cue: I’ll say “yellow” and point, so they can go touch it, get their click, and a reward. Then I’ll say “blue” and point. After doing this for a time, I try just saying “yellow” and wait. If the pup goes to yellow, hurrah! If he’s thinking about it, but isn’t deciding I again point.

The idea is to lengthen the amount of time between word and cue to allow the pup to decide on his own which color is which. If the pup then starts going to the wrong color, I interrupt with a point, and practice the right one some more. Once a puppy has learned the two colors, targeting the color asked for regularly, I will add a third color, then a fourth and so on.

I also use objects that have the same shape, but are different colors, like the red soda and the black soda. Or white candle and yellow candle (unscented). With luck and practice the pup has gotten the hang of this by 4 months old.

Now those colors kick in as a task: find the red soda, or the blue deoderant, or the white blanket. I continue to click and reward the find, the touch, the pick up if they do it, and the bring if they do it as seperate steps. When a pup just automatically touches, picks up, and brings, they only need a click and reward for the whole chain.

This color recognition then branches out: ask for the yellow sock, the red towel, the black purse, the purple scarf, the oranges at the store, the prescription bottle with the blue sticker dot. Anything that helps a puppy seperate one item from another gives them tools to use in deciding which item you want.

Teaching Numbers for Tasks

Number recognition is also very useful for service dogs. I know a dog can read a clock: I had one that did. He’d look at the clock, see it was 9pm and he would get up, nudge me, and want to go to bed.

I use flash cards at first, the same way as the contruction paper for colors. Then I’ll use post it notes on doors or cabinets or the hallway wall for them to find and touch for their click and treat.

Next I begin using a big fake “clock” they can target numbers on, made of whatever’s around. A big paper or cloth with numbers on it that I can move the “hands” on is perfect. Larger is easier to see, so that’s where I start. A digital alarm clock with large numbers is also an option to train with.

A clock requires number recognition up to 12. If a pup just can’t seem to get double digits as 11 or 12, I don’t mind saying “one, one” or “one, two”, using the double digit numbers as a 2 number combination. This is easier for some puppies.

For people like me who have difficulty remembering things sometimes, or people with TBI (traumatic brain injury), strokes, and other cognitive struggles, a dog that can read a clock can remind you to take your medicine, that it’s time to pick up the kids at school, or time to get up from resting.

Typically the time related tasks need to be regular, part of a consistant routine for a dog to do them well. Like us, dogs become used to routines, and want to follow a usual order of activities. So recognizing the time doesn’t come out of the blue, it just becomes a cue for a part of their everyday routine.

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